“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).
Few people who suffer from victim tendencies would like to be free, mainly because of their inability to admit to themselves that their victim-hood is ultimately destructive in their lives or that it exists. Consequently they are doomed to live out their lives without the freedom they could get from Christ or until they come to the place of realization.
Victims have many characteristics that are very destructive to their sense of well-being:
- They feel a sense of insecurity about their role in life, their acceptance by God and man, as well as feelings of deep inadequacy.
- Their insecurities will foster a sense of low self-esteem, giving them a sense of worthlessness and/or ineptness.
The above mentioned conditions, as well as others, produce a tendency toward a sense or fear of rejection. This, in turn, causes them to over-react to what they consider to be the slights or offensiveness of others.
In his relationship with others, the victim often displays many of the following traits:
- Currying–He will attempt to curry the favor of others by over attention or lavish gifts. By such actions he is attempting to gain their affection and gratitude but often feels a sense of failure because his target people tend to draw back from such attention and will never be able to adequately express the kind of appreciation or fellowship that will bring satisfaction to the victim.
- Competition–He will inevitably be competitive toward those whom he feels to be of greater stature, service, or public esteem. He will strive to emulate or to surpass those whom he feels to be more successful than he has been—ultimately seeking to take their place in the affections and respect of others. He feels completely justified in whatever devices he might use in attempting to discredit or to surpass the other in order to gain his sense of ascendancy.
- Controlling–He will use a variety of devices and attitudes to gain or maintain control of any situation he is in. He will have a compulsive need to dominate with little sense of accommodation to places, situations, and relationships.
- Conceptual–The attempt of others to help him to see his needs and to offer guidance will be conceived as being offensive with him often reacting in unreasonable or ungodly ways.
- Combative–Any curtailing or violation of what he sees to by his rights will be seen as a personal attack causing him to rebel, withdraw, or both. When he perceives that his desires or needs are not met, his mentality inevitably causes a fight or flight reaction.
- Concealed Agendas–He will inevitably have very powerful hidden agendas that he hopes to achieve by any effort expended in behalf of another. Unfortunately, because of his deep-seated needs, he will tend to be destructive to others who don’t yield to his agendas or help him to achieve them.
- Complaining–It is not unusual for him to complain to others about how he is being treated. He will find little that satisfies him and will voice his dissatisfaction freely when he feels it will profit his cause.
There is victory for the victim. The following strategy has been helpful to many who have realized their tendency toward victim-hood:
- Admit to himself the reality of his tendency to have feelings of victim-hood. One will never rise above his feelings of victimization until he can admit them to himself and be willing to address them.
- Accept his responsibility for the choices he that makes to feel and to react as a victim.
- Fully forgive any and all toward whom he feels any sense of unforgiveness or resentment. He should forgive each person for each thing that person has done that he considers to have been offensive or to have deprived him of anything he considered to be his right.
- Address victim strongholds in his life by renunciation, through binding all the powers of darkness involved, and by expelling them in the Name of Jesus.
- Pray the prayer of relinquishment by which he releases all rights to the sovereign care of the Father.
- Submitting his life to the Lordship of Jesus.
Retooling his belief system by systematically searching out memorize scriptures that will replace the old and deeply entrenched errors of self conception, his views of others, and any failed concept of Who and What the Father is to him.
He should begin with such confessions as:
- Jesus is my Lord.
- I have His life and significance as my present possession and position.
- I relinquish any residual attitudes and feeling of the old man that I was and accept all of my scriptural identities.
- I deny the old man that I was, I take up the cross to crucify my flesh, and I follow Jesus to enjoy and employ the new creation that I am.
- I choose to be filled with the Holy Spirit this day and to walk throughout the day in every contact, relationship, and issues in His fullness.
May our Father show each of us our tendencies toward a victim mentality that is so inherent in the flesh, seize the victory we have in Christ and walk in it.