Overcoming Self-Pity

There are many illustrations in the scripture of people gripped by self-pity with a prime example being Cain: ‘Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hidden; and I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer in the earth and it shall come to pass, that any one that findeth me shall slay me’ (Genesis 4:14).

Self-pity is characterized by such things as:

1. The feeling or fear of rejection ("Who cares?"): Rejection is mostly a feeling or a sense rather than a reality. A person who feels rejected has a corrupted belief system which fails to give him a proper viewpoint of God, others, himself and life in general. He is characterized by low self-esteem believing if others had a choice they would have little or nothing to do with him. Because of these feelings he will tend to underdo or overdo in his relationship with others either protecting himself from further rejection or attempting to merit acceptance by others.
2. Hopelessness ("What’s the use?"): Hopelessness is chiefly characterized by the feelings of despondency. Despondency is characterized by depression resulting from cessation of hope and a belief that continued efforts will fail.
3. Apathy (It doesn’t matter.’): The word apathy comes from Greek word ‘pathos’ meaning feeling with the prefix ‘a’ which amends the word to which it is attached giving a negative sense. Thus apathy means ‘without feeling.’ It is a lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference.
4. Futility ("I’m going to fail no matter what I do."): It is the feeling that it doesn’t matter what one does, it will serve no useful result.
5. Inertia (“It’s not worth the effort.”) All of the above has the effect of bringing one to a full stop, causing him to feel he is a failure and will continue to be no matter what he does.

It is imperative that a person not live under the domination of the above attitudes/emotions. There are several steps he can take which will dispel the gloom with which he is shrouded:

1. Get up and get in motion. "And the Lord spoke unto me saying, 'Ye have compassed this mountain long enough; turn ye northward'" (Deuteronomy 2:2-3). The decision and act of getting in motion has a powerful effect on the emotions causing the person to feel invigorated. Wrong emotion is dispelled by proper motion.
2. Make decisions. Much of the inertia and hopelessness with which a person finds himself controlled is the result of and results in indecision. I say this cautiously but sometimes it is necessary to decide to act even if there is the possibility that the decision made will be the wrong one. The fear of making a wrong decision can be totally debilitating. Even if the decision made is the wrong one when a person is in action he can always make a course adjustment. That can’t happen when he is on high center.
3. Do what’s right. I frequently have people asking for counsel when they, as they share their problems, have already answered their own questions. Most of us know the right thing to do—we just don’t do it. I cannot overemphasize the importance of doing what we know to be right without second guessing and hesitation.
4. Do it one step at a time. God said to Joshua: ‘Every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon, that have I given unto you, as I said unto Moses’ (Joshua 1:3). Don’t expect to accomplish anything instantly. All achievement is the result f steps of careful and thoughtful obedience taken one step at a time.
5. Don’t look back. Jesus said: ‘No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. Back yearning caused nothing but grief for the children of Israel. It will cause a person to romanticize the past giving a sense of futility to the present and future. Paul had it right when he said: ‘This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus’ (Philippians 3:13,14).
6. Learn to separate the gainsayers from the wise. You will find Job’s comforters wherever you go. You will know when what you are doing is the right thing. Hear the words of Nehemiah when faced with his detractors: ‘I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down. Why should the work cease, while I leave it, and come down to you (Nehemiah 6:3)?

God has a wonderful plan for your life however, you will never realize that plan if you look inwardly. Paul said: "Awake thou that sleepiest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light" (Ephesians 5:14).

Jeff