Lessons from the Potter’s Wheel – Part 2: Brokenness

Even more difficult was the realization that He is not impressed with our attempts to credentialize ourselves to Him by recounting all of our numerous religious accomplishments and meritorious behaviors. Paul had a very classic way of referring to such things when he said: “But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ” (Philippians 3:7-8).

When I would sit in Pastor Jim Hylton’s study day after day watching the ebb and flow of people and God’s powerful moving in their lives, I was somewhat cynical and supercilious in my estimation of what was happening and considered myself an objective observer (actually, more of an objectionable observer!). On looking back, I’m surprised that I was even permitted to be there in such powerful times. It was the Father ruling and overruling in my life and circumstances.

As I later learned, in the flow of God’s moving there is an inevitable atmosphere of brokenness and weeping as people become transparently real before Him. In fact, one cannot effectively approach Him in the energies and pretensions of the flesh. He has His ways of piercing through all of the posturing involved in such attempts and penetrating to the very core of one’s being. The writer of Hebrews expressed this well by saying, “He knows about everyone, everywhere. Everything about us is bare and wide open to the all-seeing eyes of our living God; nothing can be hidden from him to whom we must explain all that we have done” (Hebrews 4:13 TLB).

Surprisingly enough, during this period of my life, I was preaching in some of the rural churches in the county. This is still amazing to me considering the hardness of my heart in those days. Even more surprising was that God could use me in such a condition!

The revival in the First Baptist Church was coincident with the coming of Evangelist Jamie Coleman to preach a series of Fall meetings. Jamie seemed as surprised by revival as we were. I had been out preaching on the first Sunday of the scheduled services. I slipped into the auditorium during the altar call of that first Sunday evening service. I was surprised at, and somewhat alienated by, the atmosphere of brokenness and weeping that seemed to prevail in the service. I remember thinking “what is going on here?” as I saw one young woman whom Norma and I knew quite well, sobbing in the arms of Jane, our pastor’s wife. Although in years past, I had been in many such services when I worked with Evangelist Paul Carlin as his music man, much time had passed since then and displays of the nature we were seeing at this present time seemed foreign and excessively emotional to me. Little did I realize that the time would come that my tears would freely flow!

It seems to me that I have a particularly stubborn will that fully manifests itself from time to time. This was so in my encounter with the Lord on the Sunday afternoon mentioned in my previous message. This was a time it seemed to be particularly active. After a period of heartfelt confession and repentance, I asked the Father if that was all. It seemed that He replied, saying: “No; if you do not give me your tomorrows, today, your yesterdays will become your tomorrows!”

At first I was quite startled and then realized the Father wanted me to make an unconditional surrender of my wife, children, and profession to Him. I had little struggle surrendering my wife and children to Him since that seemed the appropriate thing to do. The real struggle was in surrendering my profession to Him. I was a high school choral and orchestra director at that time and I dearly loved what I was doing. I had some degree of success and was developing an acceptable reputation among my colleagues in the field. My profession had become both my identity and my god. I could not imagine having that taken away from me.

My struggle to surrender my profession to Him went on for some time. I protested, “Lord, if I give you my profession, you will take it away from me!” To which He seemed to reply, “If you give it to me, it is none of your business what I do with it!” After much struggle, I finally let go. I discovered I was right; I knew immediately that my profession was gone and the Father had a new and different work for me.

It was during this experience that the process of brokenness began in me. I speak of it as a process since, in many ways, I find myself almost daily confronted with new areas of my willful stubbornness that require me to go back to the cross if I’m to go on with Jesus.

In that encounter, and on that day, while there was a great struggle, there were few tears. The tears came with abundance later when I was confronted with new areas of brokenness that eclipsed my struggle over my profession.

Lessons from a Potter’s Wheel: All areas of the flesh and self-life must be crucified with Christ. Crucifixion inevitably involves brokenness; a breaking of our stubborn will and death to our self-centeredness. It is only through brokenness that we can enjoy fellowship with the Father to the extent that He desires and we require.

Jeff

• Jefferson H. and Norma R. Floyd, CO-directors • Jubilee International • P. O. Box 572 • Noblesville, IN 46061 • Copyright November 2007 by Jefferson H. Floyd. All rights reserved.