Liberation from Moral Bondages

Most people, at one time or another, have found themselves involved in an unwholesome relationship. This is not limited to, although it includes, a sexual relationship. There are many relationships that start healthy but become, or have the promise of becoming, obsessive.

For example, I once ministered to a pastor who had been unceremoniously dismissed from the church where he was the pastor due to their discovery of a sexual sin in his life. It was a prominent church and one that he had built to its prominent position. Although he was trying to address the problem, he was careless about really dealing with it, thinking it would remain undiscovered. God was kind enough to him to permit it to be discovered thus launching him onto the pathway to total freedom for the first time in his life.

When, at a subsequent date, I had him for a conference at a church I was the pastor, there was still an area of brokenness in his life that he couldn't quite grasp. In sharing with me he made the following comment: "I gave my heart to that church." That raised all kinds of red flags in my mind. We have been commanded to give our hearts only to the Lord Jesus Christ and secondly to our families. Anything else has the potential of becoming obsessive, a very powerful and binding personality tie. After praying a prayer of repentance for having given his heart to the church, we prayed a prayer of severance. He was finally and completely liberated.

A very binding and destructive condition occurs in sexual intimacy, not repented of, that is brought into a marriage through past or extra-marital sexual encounters in which one has been engaged. The scripture teaches in various settings the fact that when two people enter into such a relationship there is an immediate physical bonding. ”Do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For ‘The two,’ He says, ‘shall become one flesh.’” (1 Corinthians 6:16). This has been recently documented scientifically where it has been discovered that there is a hormonal integration that occurs during intimacy that produces very powerful ties between the participants. Obviously, such a bonding should have occurred only in marriage.

There is often the residue of past intimate relationships that are not so easy to address. Obsessive bonding, i. e. through sexual intimacy, can be illustrated by plywood. Various strata of wood are bonded together by glue. It is easier to bond them together than it is to pull them apart. When pulled apart, the layers are fragmented leaving patches of wood bonded to each stratum that is pulled from the other stratum. The personality is like that. When there is a severing of a sexual relationship, each of the parties will have lost fragments of his personality that clings to the other. The result of this condition can result in wayward thoughts and feelings occurring during times of intimacy causing loss of potency and satisfaction in the relationship.

Fantasizing and self-gratification not repented of can create the same reaction. Repentance from fantasizing and self-gratification is often difficult to achieve, since people tend to see self-gratification as a legitimate substitute for marital relations. Furthermore, it has the added potential of turning into sexual addiction. Since self-gratification requires fantasizing, it is quite possibly even more deadly to the spiritual life of the person and to the marriage relationship than extra marital relations, since the marriage partner rarely lives up to the demands of the fantasy. Additionally, fantasies can rise up in the mind at unpredictable times thus affecting one's normal pursuits in life or his spiritual walk.

All unwholesome or sinful relationships should be broken or appropriately addressed for the sake of a healthy and functional personality and marriage. All extra-marital relationships should be immediately resolved by whatever appropriate measures that are required, i. e. permanently severing the relationship or getting married.

The solution to such bondages requires several transactions by the party who wants to be free:

1. Immediate and complete severance of the unwholesome relationship.

2. Specific confession of every sin associated with the relationship along with thorough repentance.

3. Give forgiveness to others who were unwholesomely associated with you for any aggressions or obsession that contributed to your bondage.

4. One should repent of involvement with sexually explicit material, fantasizing, and/or self-gratification.

5. Pray a prayer similar to the following:

“Dear Father, I confess the unwholesomeness and the wrongness of the relationship between ___and I (or my involvement in__). I confess all sins associated with it and ask your forgiveness for them. I command that there be a complete and final severance between me and any person with whom I have had sexual relations outside of marriage. In Jesus Name I command that all fragments of my personality lost to me during the encounter be returned to me and by like token I return all fragments of the personality of my previous partner to be returned to him/her.

I repent of any form of fantasizing and self-gratification and sever my mind from, and destroy, any reoccurring and unwholesome images that persist in my legitimate marital relations. I also repent of any justifications I have made by which I have accepted such behavior as being both acceptable and legitimate.

I furthermore command that Satan's power be broken in this area of my life and that I be totally liberated from him and all sexual oppression through the power and the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Holy Spirit, please come and completely re-unite and heal my total personality and body from the injuries done to me in this relationship and I receive that work as a gift of God's grace. Thank you, in Jesus' name. Amen.”

It is my heartfelt prayer that you will be encouraged on the way to wholesomeness wherever it may be needed by proactively addressing the appropriate issues in your life.

Jeff

• Jefferson H. and Norma R. Floyd, CO-directors • Jubilee International • P. O. Box 572 • Noblesville, IN 46061